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 Let's Talk
Denise Rolark Barnes
Columnist Page
Friday, January 7, 2005; Page 18
The Military Choice
Young men and women all across this country, including the District of Columbia, have chosen to join the military and are giving their lives to causes all across the world. In most cases, their parents are proud of their decisions to join the military where it is said great men and women are made.
But this column focuses on another type of military choice. It is usually the final straw that broke the camel’s back for parents unsure of what else to do for their sons or daughters who happen to be smart, but not mature enough to make the right choices.
This weekend five military schools – or academies as some of them like to be called – will be in the Washington area for an education fair hosted by the Virginia Association of Military Schools (VAMS). I expect hundreds of Washington area parents to be in attendance on both days searching for a way to “save” their children from going down what appears to be a road of self-destruction.
Been there, done that and for those who are aware of my family’s difficult military choice a few years ago, I am often called by desperate parents who want to know, “Did it make a difference?”
The answer is yes, but….
Most of the military schools I am familiar with are more diverse than the average school in the Washington area. Parents of all nationalities, races, economic status and marital status from urban, suburban and rural communities or who live outside of the U.S. or are temporarily living in the U.S., share a common need to consider making the military choice. Unlike boot camps for troubled teens, many parents choose a military school that will teach discipline while providing a superior education in preparation for college, possibly a career in the military and a successful future.
All of the military schools that are a part of the VAMS and others offer these opportunities and more. They promote leadership, character development, self-discipline and self-esteem as “hallmarks” of the military training while providing challenging college preparatory classes, athletics, spiritual development and family support.
Robert J. Grant, Director of Guidance at Fork Union Military Academy in Fork Union, Virginia, offers this bit of insight on the school’s website (www.forkunion.com): “Once thought of as the repair shop for young men in trouble, today’s secondary military academies have a much different and more positive mission, namely the development of young people of character. Although each school has its own flavor and uniqueness, they all utilize a military structure to achieve this all-important goal. This central theme, when coupled with a strong college preparatory curriculum, a challenging athletic program, and unparalleled opportunities for leadership development, make the military boarding school the right choice for many families.”
All children seem to do exceptionally well in the early years, and, as parents, many of us find ourselves going exceptionally far to place them in broad range of activities to not only to expand their educational experiences, but to expose them to many things. Then, as it has been documented by Dr. Jawanza Kunjufu, in his book, Countering the Conspiracy to Destroy Black Boys, somewhere around the third grade or soon thereafter, behavioral problems kick in. Discussions in the classroom with teachers are followed by threats at home suggesting, “If you don’t get your act together, I’m sending you to military school.”
In junior high or middle school, is when they start smelling themselves, as the elders used to say. And as their parents, they begin to stink. Beset by fear of what can happen, especially to our Black boys, if they become too distracted by the streets, the threat of military school becomes a serious reality.
But as Commander Frank D. Martin, Director of Admissions at Hargrave Military Academy in Chatham, Virginia, tells parents during new students’ orientation, military school is not a panacea. While it may work for some students, it may not work for others, and that’s a reality parents need to face.
Never in my wildest dreams would I have ever thought that I would encourage any parent to do anything other than to send their child to a D.C. public school. Like so many of my friends, I have always felt like Ward 7 Councilmember Vincent Gray, who said during his inaugural address that he was a proud product of the D.C. Public Schools. Still, my experience has also taught me that there is nothing more precious than a good night’s sleep. And if for no other reason, our choice to send our child to a military boarding school allowed that to happen.
If the choice is going to work, everyone must have buy-in. The school has to be committed to serve each student equally and to provide equal opportunities for all students to benefit from what the school has to offer. The student has to be willing to take advantage of those opportunities, as well, and to realize there are consequences for not doing your best. And, the parents who make that choice have to make sure it’s worth the cost. Military school is not cheap.
So, did military school make a difference? For me, yes. But for the young men and women who made the military choice, only time will tell.
For Denise Rolark Barnes send email to drbarnes@washingtoninformer.com |
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