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 Let's Talk
Denise Rolark Barnes
Columnist Page
Friday, November 12, 2004; Page 19
Valencia Mohammed’s Loss Is Shared by Many
Another mother has lost her son to gun violence in the District of Columbia. This mother, however, has lost two. She is also a journalist, community activist and a former member of the D.C. School Board. She is known for her advocacy work on behalf of the youths of this city, and she is the mother of four remaining children. She is Valencia Mohammad and for all of us who know her, our hearts and prayers go out to her and her family.
There is no greater hurt than to bury your child and there is no greater fear than knowing that your child is at risk of violent or deadly harm. Every parent in the District of Columbia lives with that fear every single day. It is greater among African American and Hispanic families because they have suffered the greatest loss of their children over the past several decades. And the parents of young males worry the most.
Each and every day when a child leaves his or her home to go to school, work or to socialize with friends, most parents will give them the drill. Where are you going? Who are you going with? Who else is going to be there? How long will you be there? What are you all going to do? When do you plan to be home? How will you be traveling? Do you have any money and how much money do you have? In some households, the litany of questions is more extensive.
Twenty-three juveniles under the age of have been murdered in the District of Columbia so far this year, according to police reports. The perpetrators are no where to be found, yet many believe that families and friends are protecting them. Mohammad is among those who are concerned that “a lot of people have turned a deaf ear and a blind eye to the violence.”
“We don’t want to be involved,” is the attitude Mohammed believes permeates those same communities where children and young adults are randomly killed.
Last year, Metropolitan Police Chief Charles Ramsey initiated a $25,000 reward for any person who provided information leading to the arrest and conviction of a murderer. A check of the MPD Website gives a synopsis of the unsolved cases that remain. It is apparent that money is not the motivation in many of these cases.
No one has found the words to comfort a hurting family. Pastors remind us that it is not for us to ask why but to know that God is in control. Residents in the Southeast quadrant of the city, east of the Anacostia River, have erected a Wall of Remembrance in honor of their loved ones and to offer them a place of solace that so many of them need. The mother of Terrance Hairston, who had begun to stake his claim on the Ward 7 City Council Seat when he was killed, threw her hat in the ring in memory of her son and lost, but won in a way that only those who stand in her shoes will ever understand.
America has taken great interest in the women who have continued to “stand by their men” in spite of their sundry indiscretions. But the interest, admiration and support should also be focused upon those mothers who have lost their children and transferred their grief into action by creating organizations and championing causes in honor of their slain children.
Valencia Mohammed is one of those moms. After experiencing the shock of learning of her son’s murder, in front of the house they once called home, she got angry – the natural next stage of grief – and held a press conference in front of police headquarters demanding that police find her son, that witnesses come forward, that other mothers stop protecting their children and that witnesses who want to be provide information are offered adequate protection. The sadness was contagious as she sat in the midst of her family and friends at Masjid Muhammed with tears steadily flowing down her cheeks while her son’s body lay in a covered casket throughout a traditional Islamic funeral services. And, who is to say whether she will ever reach the point of acceptance, but she is back on the beat, performing her journalistic duties, while championing the cause of the voices through the pages of both the Afro-American newspaper and News Dimensions.
It is amazing to witness the strength and fortitude mothers like Valencia and others have demonstrated. For the rest of us, we will continue to pray that what we witness won’t ever be a common experience. Let us all do our parts and pray.
For Denise Rolark Barnes send email to drbarnes@washingtoninformer.com
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