As the father of a young daughter with autism, I have learned that getting your child to school is not always as simple as putting them on the bus and waiting for them to come home.
When your child has an Individualized Education Program (IEP), you pay attention to things other parents may never have to think about.
Who is working with my child today? Does this person understand her needs? What happens if her routine suddenly changes? If something goes wrong and she cannot fully explain it to me, who will be able to tell me what happened?
Those questions do not stop at the schoolhouse door. They follow our children onto the school bus.
That is why one of the simplest pieces of advice I can give another parent of a child with an IEP is this: Get to know your child’s bus driver and attendant.
Learn their names. Introduce yourself. Say good morning. Ask how your child is doing on the ride.
Those few minutes can matter more than we realize.
I have seen that firsthand with my daughter. Her bus ride can be long, and her bus attendant noticed how much time she spends traveling to and from school. One day, the attendant bought her a coloring book so she would have something to enjoy during the ride.
It may seem like a small gesture, but as a parent, it meant a lot to me. It told me that someone who spends part of every school day with my daughter was paying attention to her, thinking about her comfort and looking for a simple way to make that long ride a little easier.
That is the kind of relationship I am talking about. Bus drivers and attendants are not just transportation staff. For many children, especially children with disabilities, they become familiar adults who are part of the rhythm of the school day.
For some children with disabilities, consistency is incredibly important. The same bus, the same driver, the same seat and the same routine can provide a sense of comfort before the school day even begins.
Then one morning, something changes.
The bus is late. There is a substitute driver. The route changes. The bus does not arrive when expected.
For many families, that is an inconvenience. For some of our children, it can change the entire morning.
As parents, we also know that our children may not always come home and tell us exactly what happened during the ride. That makes the adults who interact with them even more important.
A bus driver may notice that your child suddenly does not want to get on the bus. An attendant may notice that your child seems upset at the same point along the route every day.
They may notice a change in behavior, a problem with another student or simply that something seems different.
That information can be valuable to a parent.
But relationships work both ways.
Parents can also help transportation staff understand our children. You do not have to share every detail of your child’s disability or educational record. But appropriate information about communication, behavior, safety or transitions can help the adults responsible for transporting your child better understand how to support them.
And when a transportation problem occurs, you are no longer starting the conversation with a complete stranger.
That does not mean parents should be responsible for fixing school transportation. We shouldn’t.
School systems remain responsible for providing required transportation services, including services identified in a student’s IEP. When buses are repeatedly late, accommodations are not being followed or transportation problems interfere with a child’s education, parents should document those concerns and raise them with the appropriate school and transportation officials.
Building a relationship with a driver should complement accountability, not replace it.
That distinction is important.
As a father navigating special education, I have learned that advocacy is not only about what happens during an IEP meeting.
Advocacy happens in the hallway. It happens at pickup. It happens through an email to a teacher. And sometimes it happens at the bus stop at 7 o’clock in the morning.
Our children’s educational experience begins before they enter the classroom and continues after they leave it.
Think about the person behind the wheel.
For some children, their bus driver is the first school employee they see every morning and the last one they see every afternoon.
That person is part of your child’s school experience.
So tomorrow morning, if you haven’t already, introduce yourself.
Learn the driver’s name.
Let them learn your child’s name — and, when appropriate, a little about what helps your child succeed.
It won’t prevent every late bus, substitute driver or transportation problem.
But if there is one thing I continue to learn as both a father and an advocate, it is that relationships matter.
And when it comes to children with IEPs, one more adult who knows, understands and cares about your child can make a difference.
