ColumnistsOp-EdOpinion

Ask Alma

Alma
By Alma Gill
NNPA Columnist

 

Cancer and Romance

Dear Alma,

My wife died four years ago after a long battle with lung cancer. We had been married more than 25 years, and I took care of her until the end. Now at age 62, I know I don’t ever want to marry again, but I met a special lady friend less than a year ago. We live in different states and meet on weekends at various vacation spots. She has never been married and wants to get married some day. Just recently, my friend found out she has cancer, stage 4. We are both devastated. I cannot marry her, and I don’t want to move to her state to take care of her. She has siblings and grown children and grandchildren. I have decided to break it off. I know what’s ahead, and I can’t go through that again. Does this make me a bad guy?

B. Harris, Norfolk, Va.

 

What up B! Thanks for your email. Let me start by saying, I’m not here to pass judgment. Clearly, at your age, you’re fully aware of what you can live with and what you are capable of giving to a relationship. During your 25-plus years of marriage, you obviously developed a strong bond with your wife. That’s a blessing. A pot of that kind of committed relationship boils over with love and support. That’s where you found the strength to be the caregiver your wife needed as she battled cancer. And that, my dear, is what’s missing from this current relationship. You’ve yet to build a bond. You’ve made up your mind, and I applaud your honesty in recognizing the reality of your current situation. No, your choice does not make you a bad guy. My only suggestion is this: When you end it, disconnect completely; sever all ties of communication. Since you’ve decided not to support your lady friend during this most difficult time, don’t stick around offering her a false sense of hope. That, my friend, would make you a bad guy.

Alma

 

Alma Gill’s newsroom experience spans more than 25 years, including various roles at USA Today, Newsday and the Washington Post. Email questions to: alwaysaskalma@gmail.com.  Follow her on Facebook at “Ask Alma” and Twitter @almaaskalma.

###

Tags
Show More

Alma Gill

Alma Gill’s newsroom experience spans more than 25 years, including various roles at USA Today, Newsday and the Washington Post. Email questions to: alwaysaskalma@gmail.com. Follow her on Facebook at “Ask Alma” and twitter @almaaskalma

Related Articles

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


By submitting this form, you are consenting to receive marketing emails from: Washington Informer Newspaper, 3117 Martin Luther King Jr. Ave SE, Washington, DC, 20032, http://www.washingtoninformer.com. You can revoke your consent to receive emails at any time by using the SafeUnsubscribe® link, found at the bottom of every email. Emails are serviced by Constant Contact

Back to top button

My News Matters to me - Washington Informer Donations

Be a Part of The Washington Informer Legacy

A donation of your choice empowers our journalists to continue the work to better inform, educate and empower you through technology and resources that you use.

Click Here Today to Support Black Press and be a part of the Legacy!

Subscribe today for free and be the first to have news and information delivered directly to your inbox.


By submitting this form, you are consenting to receive marketing emails from: Washington Informer Newspaper, 3117 Martin Luther King Jr. Ave SE, Washington, DC, 20032, http://www.washingtoninformer.com. You can revoke your consent to receive emails at any time by using the SafeUnsubscribe® link, found at the bottom of every email. Emails are serviced by Constant Contact
Close

Adblock Detected

Please consider supporting us by disabling your ad blocker