By Alma Gill
NNPA Columnist

My Husband Embarrassed Me

Dear Alma,

We were recently at a cookout at my cousin’s house and I went over to sit on my husband’s lap. The next thing I knew, he pulled my dress up all the way over my head. I was soooooo embarrassed. My niece came over to help me get my dress down.  I’m a curvy girl, so it wasn’t easy. I couldn’t believe he did that in front of everybody. All of our family and friends were there. He said he asked me not to sit on his lap because his leg was hurting. What should I do? Why do you think he did that?

Name withheld; Atlanta, Ga.

Whew Lawd, he did what!? Honey Chile, give me a minute!  I’m so mad at your husband right now I can hardly speak. That was disrespectful from the nitty to the gritty – from the rooter to the tooter. I would venture to say it was borderline abusive. Glorious knows I am in no position to evaluate your embarrassment and or tolerance level of humiliation, but what I will say is, you need to re-evaluate what’s unacceptable behavior within your marriage. Be honest with yourself. What exactly, my dear, is at the root of his wanting to publicly disgrace you? Because that’s what he did. You’ve got a much bigger problem than him not wanting you to sit on his lap and I’ve got a feeling this isn’t your first trip entering his danger zone.  He’s warning you, are you listening? It’s clear to me, he is not respecting you as a husband should respect his wife. And he’s making it clear to you, in front of your friends and family, you are no longer the “One.”


Alma Gill’s newsroom experience spans more than 25 years, including various roles at USA Today, Newsday and the Washington Post. Email questions to:  Follow her on Facebook at “Ask Alma” and Twitter @almaaskalma.


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