By Alma Gill
NNPA Columnist

Affair with a Coworker

Dear Alma,

I had an affair with a coworker that led to the demise of my marriage. Biggest mistake of my life. I feel as though I am getting the short end of the stick because her husband has no idea of the affair. Part of me says it’s something he should know. Also, we both knew what we were doing was wrong and so we both should suffer the consequences of what we’ve done.  That’s my thinking, but so far I’ve taken the high road and been trying to focus on myself and why I did what I did. In the meantime, she’s going on with her life as if nothing happened. How can I tell her husband what happen?

Mad as hell in D.C.

Wait! What! You crack me up. Are you asking me for permission to snitch, Richie Rich?  I hear you, you’re suffering, lost everything and you want her to suffer, too.  Come on now, stop drinking that HaterAid.  You made your bed, now lie in it. Don’t worry about her bed, “anymore,” I should say. We don’t always get the same sentence for committing the same crime, even you should know that.  Maybe she and her husband are driving down the freeway of forgiveness. Stay out of their lane and mind your business. We don’t know what’s happening in their prayer closet. Continue to focus on the repairing of what happened in your marriage.

Cautiously mending the broken pieces and making the necessary apologies to your wife and family. It’s easy to find fault and place blame on others when we aren’t looking at our own reflection in the mirror. Own what you did. Yes, you both gambled and both have to live with the costs.  My advice to you Sweetie is, just because revenge is knocking on your door, doesn’t mean you should open it, offering up the La-Z-boy and a cold brew. Two wrongs don’t make a right, as my Mama use to say.  So make a U-turn my brother, and head towards that high road you mentioned. Don’t let forgiveness meet you there, allow it to welcome and greet you there. I know it doesn’t seem like it now, but better days are ahead. Do the right thing so you can rest easy.


Alma Gill’s newsroom experience spans more than 25 years, including various roles at USA Today, Newsday and the Washington Post. Email questions to:  Follow her on Facebook at “Ask Alma” and Twitter @almaaskalma.


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