By Alma Gill
NNPA Columnist

Hello Ms. Alma,

I need advice. I have been married to my husband for over year. I love him dearly but he constantly likes to wait until the last minute to take care of business. This really upsets and bothers me. When I was younger and in elementary school I use to procrastinate on my school work because I was lazy. But now that I am older, I try to make sure that everything I need to do is done immediately. My husband is 20 something years older than me. You would think that he would try to be more responsible than me. I love my husband but I need him to help take care of business and not wait until the last minute. He gets mad when I act responsible and do things on time. Can you please give me some advice?

Thank You,  Stressed Wife

Ok, girl, why are you tryin to jumping double-dutch with a single rope? I could be wrong and if I am, email me back and clarify.

Let’s start with your elementary school experience with procrastination that has nothing whatsoever to do with your husband and his timing. This was your stumbling block to overcome, not his. Congrats and “big ups” to you for conquering that challenge. Albeit why have you made it a requirement for everyone in your inner circle. “Do You” quick, fast, in a hurry, with a few hours to spare, and let your husband and others, pick their path to righteousness. You feel me? You said he gets it done, just at the last minute. Okaaaay, and…, It’s done, right? Stop stepping on his toes for no good reason. He has an internal alarm clock just like you.  In my minds eye, yours may be Cartier and his may be Timex, guess what, they both tell the same time.  TBT moment here, especially since you just got married – It doesn’t matter if you decide to run or crawl, as long as the deadline is being met. Stop adding this marital stress of timing to your salad sweetheart, it’s not necessary. You didn’t marry yourself. Accept, compromise and respect your husband’s ways, he has a 20 year jump on you. Get over the fact that he may not follow your stopwatch and shout a “thank you Honey” when he delivers and handles your business, right on time.


Dear Alma,

last night I tried online dating for the first time. I had had a glass of wine or two, so you know. I checked out a couple of guys, sent a wink and instantly they typed back. What!!  That weirded me out and I shut down my computer immediately. Now I don’t know what to do. Do you have any suggestions? 

LMBO, hold on a minute while I get up off the floor. You know it takes me a minute at this age, LOL.  Claudy have mercy Girl, you cracked me up, because I’m totally feeling you right now. I tried the same thing a couple of weeks ago and was astonished at how fast some of these guys replied, LOL.  Evidently, you and I both didn’t have a minute to digest the first part of our escapade, the art of connecting, before WHAM! We had been heaved into phase two yelling hold up, wait a minute! We’re not ready!  Lean in close, while I give you the same advice I gave myself. It’s fine to shut it down until you’re ready to reply. You can take days, weeks, it’s your move and your call.  Don’t feel bad Sistah Souljah, take your baby steps into the pool of online dating and control every minute of your dive. Promise me you’ll be careful and pinky swear, you’ll unwaveringly reserve the right to hit “delete” when necessary, in the blink of an eye.


Alma Gill’s newsroom experience spans more than 25 years, including various roles at USA Today, Newsday and the Washington Post. Email questions to: Follow her on Facebook at “Ask Alma” and Twitter @almaaskalma.


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