Former first lady Michelle Obama is setting the record straight about her marriage, brushing off rumors of a split from former President Barack Obama and calling out the sexist assumptions that fueled them.
In part two of her appearance on the “Work in Progress”podcast hosted by Sophia Bush, Obama addressed the online speculation that ramped up earlier this year when Barack Obama appeared alone at several high-profile events, including the funeral for former President Jimmy Carter and the inauguration of Donald Trump. Critics quickly jumped to conclusions — but Michelle Obama made it clear that her choices had nothing to do with marital discord.
“This year people couldn’t even fathom that I was making a choice for myself,” the former first lady said. “They had to assume that my husband and I are divorcing. This couldn’t be a grown woman just making a set of decisions for herself, right?”
She explained that such assumptions are the result of unhealthy societal assumptions that have become the norm.
“That’s what society does to us. We start actually finally going, ‘What am I doing? Who am I doing this for?’ And if it doesn’t fit into the stereotype of what people think we should do,” she added, “then it gets labeled as something negative and horrible.”
The bestselling author and former First Lady, who spent eight years in the White House without scandal — unless one counts Barack Obama’s infamous tan suit — said her efforts to make room for her own voice and decisions have often been misinterpreted.
“I feel like it’s time for me to make some big girl decisions about my life and own it fully,” she said. “Because if not now, when? What am I waiting for? Look, the summers are—we’re in summer countdown at 61, right? It’s not so tragic if something happens to you and you’re 80. So now is the time for me to start asking myself these hard questions of who do I truly want to be every day?”
Michelle also spoke about the discomfort women often feel when asserting themselves.
“When I say ‘no,’ for the most part, people are like, ‘I get it,’ and I’m OK,” she said. “That’s the thing that we, as women, I think we struggle with — disappointing people.”
Despite the rumor mill, the Obamas have continued to share affectionate public messages. On Valentine’s Day, President Obama posted a photo with the former first lady.
“Thirty-two years together, and you still take my breath away.”
The longtime attorney, wife and mother echoed the sentiment in her own post.
“If there’s one person I can always count on, it’s you, [Barack Obama],” she wrote. “You’re my rock. Always have been. Always will be.”
The couple met in 1988 at a Chicago law firm. Then Michelle Robinson, a 25-year-old Harvard Law graduate, was assigned to mentor a young Obama, then a summer associate finishing law school. They married in 1992 and have two daughters, Malia, 26, and Sasha, 23.
Many on social media, especially in Black communities, were quick to ridicule the divorce rumors, pointing out that the Obamas — whose biggest scandal was wearing a tan suit — are still treated with more suspicion than President Donald Trump, a twice-impeached and 34-time convicted felon who routinely is ensconced in scandals.
“This couldn’t be a grown woman just making a set of decisions for herself, right?” Michelle Obama said.
