Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. — Ephesians 4:31-32 NIV

This week, in my “Forgiveness Series,” let’s talk about how so many of us go to sleep at night with unforgiveness in our hearts. Who are you really hurting those times you’ve done this?

Try a different approach. Wayne Dyer suggest that at night as you drift off to sleep, tell yourself how much you refuse to use this precious time to review anything you don’t want to reinforce during rest time, when your subconscious mind is at work.

Here is where you’ve got to think of your connection to your Creator. God uses our rest time to guide our minds to places and things we need for the good. Consider saying “I am good, I am holy, I am special, I am God’s child, I am made in His image, I am love,” and with each “I am,” you say to yourself, “I give myself, by way of my imagination, the chance to allow my subconscious mind to be dominated by those last waking concepts of myself.”

Tell yourself, “I am peaceful, I am content, and I attract only to myself those who are in alignment with my highest ideals of me.”

Make this your nightly ritual! Feel free to rewrite your wording to best fit your life and always remember, never to allow yourself to go over any fear of unpleasantness that your ego might be asking you to review. See, feel and believe yourself already in possession of every “I am” you repeat. Know that you’re allowing yourself to be programmed while sleeping for the next day you rise knowing you are a free agent, being led and guided by the God who created you.

Sleeping time is when God does His perfect work. Allow Him to electrify our subconscious minds with His conceptions of those “good works” He created you to do.

If only we listen! Stop going to sleep at night worrying about what somebody has done to you, thinking of things you can and must do to get back at them for the wrong they’ve done to you, And though what they did was hurtful, wrong or negligent, remember God has given us a spirit of forgiveness. Reread Ephesians 4:31-32. Hang it where you can see it before sleeping!

Here are four steps you can use for your forgiveness goals. First, write down who you need to forgive. Secondly, write how you feel about what has happened, and say how you feel right now, being careful to be honest to yourself, and write your willingness to at least be open to the possibility of letting go of those bad feelings. Third, write how much better you’re going to feel once you forgive these people. You won’t feel that good immediately, but faith cometh by hearing. Keep writing it and repeating it: “I forgive you for leaving me, your wife, and I forgive you for not paying child support for your children.” You may feel a bit of sadness, but joy cometh in the morning. Your anger will become peace, your heaviness will become a feeling of lightness. Just imagine how much better you will feel when you have forgiven.

Finally, the fourth step: become committed to allowing yourself to forgive. This cannot be fake — it must come from your heart. If you still feel that negative energy rise up when you see this person the very next time, your forgiveness is incomplete!

Keep working, and soon this negative energy will be erased from your subconscious mind. You will be at peace!

Lyndia Grant is a speaker/writer living in the D.C. area. Her radio show, “Think on These Things,” airs Fridays at 6 p.m. on 1340 AM (WYCB), a Radio One station. Visit her website,, send comments to or call 240-602-6295. Follow her on Twitter @LyndiaGrant and on Facebook.

A seasoned radio talk show host, national newspaper columnist, and major special events manager, Lyndia is a change agent. Those who experience hearing messages by this powerhouse speaker are changed forever!

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