Black Praying Hands

How many of you out there who read my column has unforgiveness in your heart against someone? It could be a mother or father, spouse, friend, co-worker, church member, even pastors — you harbor this negativity, and it grows in to sickness and disease.

The late Wayne Dyer has a formula to rectify this, based on religious principles. He tells us, “move on to the next act.”

“Your past history and all of your hurts are no longer here in your physical reality,” he writes.

The book of James (New King James Version) says it this way: “Whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.”

“Don’t allow them to be here in your mind, muddying your present moments,” Dyer said. “Your life is like a play with several acts. Some of the characters who enter have short roles to play, others, much larger. Some are villains and others are good guys. But all of them are necessary; otherwise they wouldn’t be in the play. Embrace them all, and move on to the next act.”

Past, present and future are critical times in our lives — we must look back at our past, so that we avoid mistakes made in the past, and we must look to the future with hope and love. However, the present time, present moment is all every one of us have. What are you doing this very moment? Is it helping the world or hurting it? Or are you simply doing something for yourself that brings you joy?

One day, I realized that how someone else behaves has nothing at all to do with me. It is entirely about them, and only them. When I stopped allowing someone else’s behavior to bother me, and simply look at them, knowing that only the Savior can help them help themselves, I felt free. I was no longer in bondage, always complaining what someone else has done to me!

Let’s take my forgiveness story for example. When my ex-husband abused me, I was a 19-year-old girl. I married him when he first got out the U.S. Marines, and he had served this country by fighting in the Vietnam War. Looking back, I can see clearly where he needed time to reconnect to the world after participating in such a brutal war, watching his entire platoon get killed and blown to pieces. His leg severely damaged, he refused to allow an amputation. Why wouldn’t a man who had suffered so much be filled with anger? Today, my understanding is, what he was doing to me, his hands around my throat, was not because of me — it was a problem that he suffered from the past, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Thankful that he is better today, I have forgiven him! We are friends, and he works in church, sending out a Scripture every day.

In closing, remember your life is like several acts to a play. Plus billions of people have passed this way, you know. What makes you different? You may not know how to answer that, but none of us came to earth with the same purpose as you. We all have reasons for existing, and the folks you’ve met along the way matter. Some characters are in your life briefly and others much longer. Some are serious villains and others are good guys.

Dyer says they are all necessary, otherwise they wouldn’t show up in your particular life! Embrace them all! Then move on to the next act!

Ephesians 4:32 says “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”

Lyndia Grant is a speaker/writer living in the D.C. area. Her radio show, “Think on These Things,” airs Fridays at 6 p.m. on 1340 AM (WYCB), a Radio One station. Visit her website,, send comments to or call 240-602-6295. Follow her on Twitter @LyndiaGrant and on Facebook.

Lyndia Grant

A seasoned radio talk show host, national newspaper columnist, and major special events manager, Lyndia is a change agent. Those who experience hearing messages by this powerhouse speaker are changed forever!

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