We all know someone, perhaps even a member of your own family, on a committee, at church — they’re everywhere. We find ourselves surrounded by people who hurt other people. And they do so because of the inescapable pain they have endured in their own lives. Most of the time, these folks need medical attention that they may be unaware of. We cannot look at anyone and know that they are bipolar or manic.

According to the American Journal of Management Care (AJMC, Oct. 10, 2005), the most recent survey noted that 69% of patients with bipolar disorder reported an initial misdiagnosis, with more than one third experiencing a delay of 10 years or greater before receiving a diagnosis of bipolar disorder.

During manic episodes someone may make up a totally different story, not based on facts; you’ve heard this over the past four years “alternative facts.” They create another story, altogether different from what is real, and they stick to that untruth so long that it begins to feel real to them. I’m familiar with these because of someone that crossed my path in life. The Gospel of St. John 20:23 says that we have to release the sins of others if we are going to be released. This means that if we do not forgive others then the very thing we have become victimized with will become a part of our life.

My family has experienced this firsthand. After my son graduated from Morehouse College in 1998, unbeknownst to him, he was dating a young lady who had been under doctor’s care. We couldn’t look at her and tell that she had a problem. She seemed normal to me, however, my family ended up having some major issues with this young woman. She stalked the family, she would hit herself with an orange to make bruises on her body, and then she would call the police to say my son had hit her. Eventually, this young lady got the right treatment, went back to college, got two masters degrees and she is a professor for Montgomery College, working from two campuses.

During these difficult times, even those of us who are normal will tend to feel some kind of way, sad, depressed. You name it. We all have run the gamut of emotions. Things we’ve been accustomed to doing together our entire lives are no longer an option, so it stands to reason that those who suffer from mental illness would fare even worse.

NIH website shows how hurt people interpret every word spoken to them through the prism of their pain. Because of their pain, ordinary words are often misinterpreted as something negative towards them. Because of this, they are extremely sensitive and act out of pain instead of reality.

Hurt people interpret every action through the prism of their pain. Their emotional pain causes them to suspect wrong motives or evil intent behind other people’s actions towards them. Hurt people often portray themselves as victims and carry a “victim spirit.”

Hurt people have a hard time entering into a trusting relationship. Hurt people often carry around a suspicious spirit. Hurt people often alienate others and wonder why no one is there for them. They often continually hurt the ones they love and need the most with their self-destructive behavior.

In my research on this topic, I found that people who’ve been hurt (and haven’t properly dealt with it) have the emotional maturity of the age they were when they were hurt. For example, if a girl was raped by a man when she was 12 years old, unless she forgives that man and allows Christ to heal her heart and allay her fears, in that particular area of her life (sexuality with a man), her emotional growth will stop. Even when she reaches her later years, she may still have the emotional maturity of a 12-year-old.

Hurt people are often frustrated and depressed because past pain continually spills over into their present consciousness. In many instances, they may not even be aware of why they are continually frustrated or depressed because they have coped with pain by compartmentalizing it or layering it over with other things over time.

In closing, hurt people often erupt with inappropriate emotion because particular words, actions or circumstances “touch” and “trigger” past wounds.
Lyndia Grant is a speaker/writer living in the D.C. area. Her radio show, “Think on These Things,” airs Fridays at 6 p.m. on 1340 AM (WYCB), a Radio One station. To reach Grant, visit her website, www.lyndiagrant.com, email lyndiagrantshowdc@gmail.com or call 240-602-6295. Follow her on Twitter @LyndiaGrant and on Facebook.

Lyndia Grant

A seasoned radio talk show host, national newspaper columnist, and major special events manager, Lyndia is a change agent. Those who experience hearing messages by this powerhouse speaker are changed forever!

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