Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers. — 2nd Corinthians 6:14

When I was a young girl, butterflies were plentiful where I grew up, down south in Dover, North Carolina. In fact, our home was located on the Hill Farm, owned by my grandfather. During that time, butterflies were plentiful. However, according to U.S. Sen. Amy Klobuchar (D-Minn.), over the past two decades, the monarch butterfly has been eliminated by 90%. We are grateful to Sen. Klobuchar for calling for action to preserve the monarch butterfly, which my family and I enjoyed more than 60 years ago.

Butterflies were all around us, but when I caught one, I always let it go. Never did I feel the need to pull the butterfly wings off or tear it apart to watch it die. They were so beautiful, just watching them pollinate from the flowers in our yard was a joy.

The point of this story is to remind us of how important it is to cherish those family members, friends, co-workers and neighbors whom we love and adore. This week, allow me to focus on couples, whether you are married or significant others, being unequally yoked is always a problem. Scripture reminds us in 2nd Corinthians 6:14: Be ye not unequally yoked.

Many times, we are attracted to someone based on their personal appearance. Are they too tall or too short? How do they look physically — handsome, cute, beautiful? Get that cute and handsome significant other, or even spouse, home with you each and every day for a while, and it will definitely become a different story. You may discover selfishness, where it is all about me. It won’t work, folks, that I know for sure!

Once we learn their fate is in doing something totally different from what they’re doing with you, we must be willing to let them go. None of us came to this earth to please man. Our job is to please God. Though it will break our hearts, be willing to let them go.

That exact thing happened to me 40 years ago. This was a wonderful man (now deceased) I had been dating, but he had a problem that would not work in the future for us. It was a health problem which I won’t get into details about, but he had to have help, so he broke up with me.

I was devastated, because I really did love this man. He said to me, “You deserve someone who can be who you need them to be. You are too special to have to deal with me and my health problems.” We were not married, maybe if we were, that would have been “our” problem. But in this case, we were not married, so he let me go. He talked about the business I owned, and at the time I was the executive director and lead coordinator for the annual Georgia Avenue Day Festival and Parade.

It took years to get over him, but later on, I realized that it was the right thing to do. Resilience is our capacity to bounce back, get back up. Get back up again — it is your own moment in time, when what you do next. Know that it can and will make a difference.

Though I felt that he really did not love me, his actions proved that he loved me enough to let me go. If you find yourself in a relationship where one person is so selfish that they only think of themselves, get out of there. He or she really does not love you, they love themselves, end of story!

Do you know your time? Dorothy Height once said, “When you’re a Black woman, you seldom get to do what you want to do, but you always do what you have to do. Here is the time for you to shine your light. Do not miss your moment. It doesn’t matter who gets the credit. We must get the work done we were sent here to do.”

Lyndia Grant is a speaker/writer living in the D.C. area. Her radio show, “Think on These Things,” airs Fridays at 6 p.m. on 1340 AM (WYCB), a Radio One station. To reach Grant, visit her website,, email or call 240-602-6295. Follow her on Twitter @LyndiaGrant and on Facebook.

Lyndia Grant

A seasoned radio talk show host, national newspaper columnist, and major special events manager, Lyndia is a change agent. Those who experience hearing messages by this powerhouse speaker are changed forever!

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