As we continue our crucial conversation on domestic violence, we dedicate this edition of The Religion Corner for The Washington Informer to a truth that our sanctuaries too often ignore: Abuse within relationships is a quiet epidemic. We must remember that domestic abuse does not always announce itself with a loud argument or a physical blow; it frequently weaves through psychological torture, isolation and calculated coercive control. True strength protects; it does not crush. God’s design for your life is peace, yet so many of our sisters are trapped in a war zone within their own homes.
One of the most terrifying realities of this epidemic is that there are many faces to the perpetrators. Abusers are rarely monsters 24 hours a day; instead, they are master chameleons. One minute, they are laughing, happy and having fun, acting as the absolute life of the party. But a single wrong word, an innocent comment or a misinterpreted glance can and will change everything in a heartbeat. Sometimes this terrifying shift happens publicly, embarrassing the victim in front of family and friends. Other times, it is a silent, chilling shift. Personally, I have experienced both.
The woman will see a sudden, dark change of expression in his eyes, a tightening of the jaw. His eyes have a different look that no one else notices, and she instantly knows she is in for trouble once they leave the company they are keeping. Her heart drops because she knows an evening of horror is ahead the moment the car doors slam shut and they are alone.
On my radio talk show, “Think on These Things,” which airs on Radio One’s WYCB AM 1340, I had the profound privilege of interviewing Dr. Mildred Muhammad, the former wife of D.C. sniper John Allen Muhammad. Mildred shared a chilling reality with listeners that every reader must hear. Her ex-husband’s terrifying 2002 random shooting spree, which claimed 10 innocent lives, was actually an elaborate, anonymous plot designed to culminate in her murder. He intended to kill her under the guise of a chaotic external threat so he could reclaim custody of their children without raising suspicion. His ultimate objective was to eliminate her completely.
Today, Dr. Mildred Muhammad stands as a powerful, globally recognized survivor and advocate, transforming her painful past into a testimony of resilience. As an award-winning keynote speaker and certified consultant, she travels the world educating audiences through powerful workshops on crisis recognition and trauma. John Allen Muhammad was executed by lethal injection on Nov. 10, 2009. Dr. Muhammad has authored deeply moving memoirs and guides, including her bestselling book “Scared Silent: The Mildred Muhammad Story,” “I’m Still Standing” and practical survivor tools like “Planning My Escape: Safety Plan for Victims/Survivors of Domestic Violence.”
She teaches women that true survival requires healing from the inside out, aligning with the truth that you must value who you are. As Oscar Wilde beautifully wrote, “To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.” Buddha also reminded us, “You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” My sisters, you cannot fully embrace the life God has for you until you love yourself enough to say, “No more.”
Domestic violence takes many devastating twists and turns, often hiding behind closed doors in affluent neighborhoods or within prominent, highly respected families. No one is immune. We were tragically reminded on April 16, 2026, when former Virginia Lt. Gov. Justin Fairfax fatally shot his estranged wife, Dr. Cerina Fairfax, before taking his own life inside their home. They were enduring a complicated divorce while still cohabiting under the same roof, a precarious situation that ended in an unspeakable tragedy witnessed by their two children, who were at home at the time.
God’s word stands explicitly against such violence. In Malachi 2:16, the Lord God of Israel states that He hates divorce, but also that “He hates a man covering his garment with violence.” Furthermore, Psalm 11:5 tells us clearly, “The Lord tests the righteous, but his soul hates the wicked and the one who loves violence.”
This epidemic strikes our community with disproportionate, lethal force. According to data from the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence and resource centers like Ujima Inc., more than 40% of Black women experience intimate partner physical violence, sexual violence or stalking in their lifetimes. Even more heartbreaking, over 50% of homicides against Black women are directly related to intimate partner violence. Though Black women make up only a small fraction of the population, they account for a massive percentage of women murdered by men.
As people of faith, we cannot just pray; we must act. God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7). To every woman reading this who feels unsafe: You must have a plan to get away. Leaving an abuser is the most dangerous time, and a structured safety plan can save your life. A very close friend of mine was once married to a preacher/pastor. He was abusive and threw her into a glass coffee table. She had to be hospitalized several times as a result of the abuse by her preacher/pastor. Years later, she was blessed with a good husband, and they have been happily married for 16 years.
Here are essential tips to safely escape an abusive situation:
• Document everything secretly: Keep a hidden log of dates, times and threats. You do not need physical scars to build a case or establish a timeline of control.
• Establish a safety network: Identify trusted friends, neighbors or relatives who know your reality and can offer a safe haven.
• Pack an emergency bag: Stash a hidden bag containing essential documents (birth certificates, IDs, financial records), spare keys, necessary medications and emergency cash.
• Secure financial autonomy: Abusers use financial dependence as a trap. Try to safely set aside separate funds or identify community resources that offer financial relief.
If you or someone you know is in danger, please reach out to these trusted local DMV resources:
• Washington, D.C.: Contact the House of Ruth at 202-667-7001 for shelter and supportive services, or the D.C. Coalition Against Domestic Violence (DCCADV).
• Maryland: Reach out to the Maryland Network Against Domestic Violence (MNADV) or call the House of Ruth Maryland hotline at 410-889-7884.
• Virginia: Contact Bethany House of Northern Virginia at 703-658-9500 or the Virginia Sexual and Domestic Violence Action Alliance at 1-800-838-8238.
• National support: Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or text “START” to 88788 for free, confidential, 24/7 support.
Let us stand together, break the silence and protect the sacred lives of our sisters. Tune in to my radio show, and let’s keep thinking on these things.
Lyndia Grant is a speaker/writer living in the D.C. area. Her radio show, “Think on These Things,” airs Fridays at 6 p.m. on 1340 AM (WYCB), a Radio One station. To reach Grant, go to her website, www.lyndiagrant.com, email lyndiagrantshowdc@gmail.com or call 240-602-6295. Follow her on X @LyndiaGrant and on Facebook.
